I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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