Don't you send me to vm
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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