Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
