I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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