Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
did i just pee glitter
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
