waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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