I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????