I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
