you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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