You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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