Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
