Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
