The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Best friends brother. Beat that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
