u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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