My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
