ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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