I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
