Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
