he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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