Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
