Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
