I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
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The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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