There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
