I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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