You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
