She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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