For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
