i think my mom watched the whole time
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
