its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
