I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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