Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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