Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize