i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
