Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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