Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
