do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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