Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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