So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Houston, we have a blender
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize