We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
