Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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