Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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