just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
