I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize