Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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