glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
