I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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