why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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