I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
