He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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