So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
