i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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