a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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