Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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