Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
