is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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