marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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