I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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