don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Terrible idea I love it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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