He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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