oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
