you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize