I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize