Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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