he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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