Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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