We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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