I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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