return my video game
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
