Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
false alarm, still single
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
