so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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