Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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